Productivity

If you ever want to see a man work harder than he ever has in his entire life, tell him he has an entire day to do a few simple tasks, let him forgo personal hygiene for Netflix,  and then tell him he only has 10 minutes left or his wife will find out he still hasn't showered and is still in his underwear. I say this because... It happened today.

Shades of style

Boys have swag, men have style, gentlemen have class, I have a hangover....

Post Office Lady

Post Lady: "excuse me, sir, do those big brown bottles have beer in them?"

Me: "no mam, they're empty. I mean, they did but, I took care of that last night"